rando thought: hell break loose vs. hell freeze over

my Bazinga Baby sent me a link to this amazing little essay for me to read & have a laugh while on a break from work.
i was so taken back by it, that i sent it to a bunch of my bffers (JenBunny, AmeCakes, NaNa & GiaPet), my 'rents & even to everyone in my office.
i think that y'all will REALLY think it funny!

[it seems to me,

that this student MUST 

have minored, or at least dabbled, 

in Philosophy, as well] 

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

 

how great is THAT?!

luvs it*

say cheese!

i need a new camera...

one that's going to be a helpful little assistant with taking photos of me in all my cute 'fits, Bazinga Baby while i still have his face to take photos of (heart... cracking... into... pieces...), all my luvly ladies, that dog Holly, life, luvs, & of course, my upcoming roadtrip:

Bazinga & Spanky do America!

[formally known as "Trav & Spanky See America"]

so, anyway... i think i'm going to take a slice of the tax return pie & buy myself a digi cam!

& i'm think'n of get'n this one!

anyone have this cute lil number? 

it's got 14.1mp, 4x zoom [not the best...]

it's SO cute!

i'll let you know if i get it tonight!

luvs it*

book three: How to (un)cage a girl

i finished book #3 a while ago, but, as you all know, i haven't had much time to write anything or update you.
i hate that i barely have time to talk about this book, but here are the basics.
it's written by my idol, my word goddess, Francesca Lia Block, who wrote my favourite, amazing, life changing book, Weetzie Bat, which you've all read my gush about a ton.
This is a collection of poems to fans, friends, inspiring angels, FLB's children & even herself.
it's a great book to have, but i suggest having it, keeping it on your bed side table, & dipping in to read a piece or two when you need something beautiful in your brain.

have you read it?

what did you think?

[any books to recommend

i add to my list of "to read",

please comment them! 

-you can also see my 

virtual book shelf here!]

luvs it*

stretched.

i'm getting that feeling again.
stretched too thin.

no time to do what i need to,
not enough time to do what i want to.
can't keep up with anything.

i have to soak up all the time i can with trav before he leaves.
i feel like i'm dissapointing everyone.

i miss you bloggies.
i WILL miss him so much.

i kinda miss me.

sad face...

sorry, for being depressing.

blarg.

break something.

it hadn't been one of those days, until the inevitable shit storm came,

crashing against the windows,

taking down tress,

knocking out the power,

flooding the freeway.

"i hope you know i pack a chain saw..."

what gives people the fucking right to feel so god damn entitiled? 

who are YOU to say anything?

fuck'n haters.

doesn't luvs it.

hope the boyf can cheer me the f up while we shop for a roadtrip book.

meet: bazinga*

i've been a terrible bloggie bitty, & i'm so sorry. i've missed you all, & i hope you'll understand, when i explain.

as i said, in my relatively cryptic really vague Foto Friday last week,
i have some *big news*!!!

[are you ready for it?]

Spanky nabbed herself a DUCK! 

whooooop!

i'd like you all to meet him, officially...

meet: Bazinga!

yes, Bazinga IS my friend Trav. 

[funny how things happen, eh?]

the night before i posted the Foto Friday, saying that i was no longer going to Vermont to see Hoss, my BFF [well, i thought he was my BFF], dropped an "F" & made the slick move to

"BF".

:)

it's a bittersweet story, because as you may have read, he's moving to California on April 9th. -i'll be road tripping with Bazinga, on his drive/move to Cali. I'll be going as far as Oklahoma [stop me if you've heard this one before] & then... he's off. 3,000 miles away.

i seriously do not know what the hell i'm going to do. 

it may get pretty blue in these parts for a while, luvrs.

:(

but, 

now is not the time to think about it!

Spanky, why the HELL are you calling Trav "Bazinga!?"

Well, funny story. Trav is one of the only other people i've ever met that also watches the hilarious show, The Big Bang Theory [watch it, luvs it.]. One of the main characters, Sheldon (played by Jim Parsons, as luvd in Garden State.) & Sheldon's favourite "in your face" word is "Bazinga!" - which, like any annoying friends/couple, we like to say... often.


well, that's basically my *big news*. i'm so sorry that i've drifted off to a land of non-blogging. I'm trying, as best i can, to soak up all the time i can with him.
i'm torn, about this, because i feel myself getting more & more & more attached, every damn day. Plus... people such as "She Who Shall Not Be Named" & others aren't too thrilled with us coupling up

[right? fuck them.]

even She Who...'s boyf, who's [supposedly] Bazinga's best friend, chucked my bag on the bar floor "so it didn't get wet from the spilled booze" [ahem... ya, ok....] & then found great entertainment in chucking peanuts at me.... because, y'know, he's awfully mature...
but i'm nervous that i'm going to be a reason why some of his friends, who don't care for me anymore (due, mainly to She Who...) are going to end up avoiding him, because he's always with me.
i've told him that i think it's really important for him to make some time to hang out w/ other friends, without me around, before he leaves. he doesn't seem to agree.

[i don't really know what to do about that...]

We went to NYC on Saturday, to see AmeCakes & to meet up with his cousins. After a shit-tastic night at the local bar the night before [haters be damned!] it was really nice to have the company of people who were "Pro-Bazanky" [pahhh!!!!] rather than so, unrealistically anti.
see the adorable tweet that brightened our lives?

AmeCakes:Out w @Spankyluvsit and her man! They are the cutest, most non annoying couple ever :)

 [& i didn't even have to pay her to say it!]

Anyway,
I'll post more as soon as i can. there is a lot going on, but i've gotta get it, somewhat, sorted out in my noggin, before i can spill it out over this canvas.

aren't we cute, tho?!

luvs it*

toones: Armada Latina - Cypress Hill

AmeCakes has been "Listening Around":


for those of you that don't know, AmeCakes is one of my band of DABs 

[down ass bitches].

At her new job, she's constantly finding out about all the up-&-coming uh-mazing tooones, & she's sweet enough to tell me about a lot of them!So, here's today's "toones", brought to you by my girl AmeCakes:

Armada Latina

Cypress Hill ft. Marc Anthony & Pitbull

[available on iTunes as a single!]

keep an eye out for the album release:

[also, make sure to take a peek

at their other songs on 

their MySpace page!]

AmeCakes has promised to keep me updated on any news of releases, so i'll be sure to relay them to you!

luvs it*

fyi deals: Donkey Tees

stop on by Donkeyts.com to get yourself an awesome Hangover tee [or some other silly tee]. I'm a remote sales rep for this site, So if you don't get to use the "Hangover" code, you can always use:

Spnkylvsit

my favourites are:

"MY POOR LIVER"

[i actually own this shirt. 

i bought it to wear on the plane

home from Vegas last year.

haha.

i was actually prettty pissed

that i couldn't find it this morning

to wear to work.

haha.]

"THIS IS MY HANGOVER SHIRT"

[sometimes they annoy me, 

but, as a rule,

i'm basically kool with

any ironically stated,

obvious shirt.]

sorry that it's a short post right now. i'm even more sorry that i haven't told you *the news* yet, it's actually been the reason that i haven't been able to, bc it's taking up most of my time, & i'm REALLY super sorry that i haven't been organized enough to announce my 100 followers giveaway.

it's all coming, soon enough, but, in the mean time, please enter my mini St. Patrick's Day giveaway!

luvs it*

st. patrick's got jokes!

What do you call an Irish man that sits on your deck?

Patty O'Furniture!

[hahaha... ya, def already a lil drunk...]

 

luvs it*

happy st. patrick's day!!!

i hope you all have a very lucky St. Patrick's day!

to celebrate, i'm having a SPECTACULAR surprise st. patties give away!!!

i'll keep the giveaway open for 2 weeks, so please enter by March 31st!

to enter:

• follow this blog
• leave a comment!

extra entries:

• tweet about this giveaway to @Spankyluvsit & comment again to let me know!
• follow @Spankyluvsit on Twitter!
• become a fan of Spankyluvsit on Facebook & write on the wall!
• blog about this giveaway! (two extra submissions)
• send me a photo of you DECKED OUT in your St. Patties attire, to Spankyluvsit@gmail.com!

can't wait to see who wins!!!!!!!!

have a FABULOUS St.Patrick's Day & enjoy one of my FAV songs, of all time, by the Dropkick Murphy's, who i was lucky enough to see in concert last year!

[not gunna lie, i'm already a little drunk...]

luvs it*

toones: Sky Ferreira

AmeCakes has been "Listening Around":

for those of you that don't know, AmeCakes is one of my band of DABs 

[down ass bitches].

She used to work with me, but left me this January for greener pastures  

[lol, or... greyer, since she left for the big bad city].

Anyway, at her new job, she's constantly finding out about all the up-&-coming uh-mazing tooones, & she's sweet enough to tell me about a lot of them!
So, here's today's "toones", brought to you by my girl AmeCakes:

Sky Ferreira

she doesn't seem to have anything available to buy yet, but i'm really looking forward to hearing more!

you can listen to her tracks on her MySpace page.

[my fav is def, Happy Dre, 

a sick rendition of 

Happiness is a Warm Gun,

set to the Still Dre beat.]

AmeCakes has promised to keep me updated on any news of releases, so i'll be sure to relay them to you!
luvs it*

Foto Friday: he luvs me...

{image from Medulla, via weheartit.com}

this foto friday is pretty personal.

i may have some *big* news. 

more later... enjoy the foto for now.

[ps -

this "new development" stopped me 

from seeing Hoss, in VT... 

he's pissssed, but... 

look at that pic... 

how could i leave that!?]

luvs it*

100!!!

yes!

 
don't worry luvrs, more info to come,

GIVEAWAYS ON THE WAY!

 
thank you ALL for following! I luv you all so much!

 

luvs it*

thirsty thursday: Shamrocktini

not going to lie, nothing in this is at all, even close to what you really SHOULD be drinking on St. Patty's day...
but i'm assuming that everyone knows how to put Jameson & Bailey's into a shot glass, drop it into a Guinness & CHUG, CHUG, CHUG!

 

Shamrocktini

 
for the girly men:
 

paraphenalia:

• Add 1 to 1 and 1/2 oz of melon flavored vodka (such as Van Gogh's Melon Vodka)
• Add 1 oz melon liqueur
• Add a dash of orange juice

Shake or stir quickly and then strain into a lowball or martini glass

luvs it*

"it's get'n hectic in here, it's get'n, chaotic..." -b.spears

there's SO much going on, i barely have the time to write about it, but i HAVE TO!

first things first: As you all know, i can't just post peoples actual NAMES, i have to have nicknames for everyone. I've been posting about Trav as Trav, which, is weird, bc he needs a nickname... i don't think i'll have one for this post, but i'll be working on it.

this is going to be one of those bullshit posts, where i give you a bunch of teasers, promise to write about them all, in length, later, hopefully do, but probably give you more tib bits with lots of apologies.

[ugh.]

basically....

a) i'm going to Vermont this weekend, driving up to see Hoss.
we'll see how that goes, but i think it'll be fun.
i downloaded Alice in Wonderland on audio book for the 5 hour drive  

[ugh.]

b) i'm going to Oklahoma in April to see a very very good friend of mine that i haven't seen in for-everrrr!

[luvs ur face grrrrl, can't wait to seeee you!]

c) i'm DRIVING to Oklahoma rather than flying. Trav is moving to CA [::tear::] as i think i've mentioned & i'm an absolute MESS over it. i've been spending about 90% of my time with him lately, & a light bulb went on over my little blond head!
instead of flying, i'll take an extra day off & drive to Oklahoma with Trav!!!
i'm so f'n excited.
he says that i have to plan our stops.

me?! 

i don't have the slightest idea where to start!

but.. i know i wanna stay in a sick, crazy, ridiculous, themed motel, like in Goofy Movie or in Rock of Love Bus!

Otherwise...

d) i'm planning a trip to Portsmouth, NH with my number one lady face JenBunny for the end of April.

the girl that's never been anywhere is going places, babaaaay!

sorry that this post is hella lame... i'm trying to keep you all up to date, but it's hard!!!

luvs it*

sent my dreams first class shipping

i finally did it.
i finally had the perfect words, the time, the guts to write to my hero,

Francesca Lia Block

author of Weetzie Bat, Violet & Claire, How to (un)cage a girl [book read #3], & a bazilliondy other amazing books

she's just amazing. i'm so, unbelievably in awe of her.
writing to her has been a goal of mine for sooo long. 
i'm kinda freak'n out a lil bit that she's going to read something that i've written!
I sent her the Liminality: Alive in Wonderland piece that i wrote, as well as another poem.

was that a good idea?

why am i bug'n out?!?!

ahhh

keep your ;;fingers crossed;; for me that i hear back from her!
luvs it*

tinkle worthy: Zac Galifianakis

I've been toying with the idea of how to talk about those hilar dudes that aren't really... ducks... but any girl with a sense of humour can't possibly live without.

they may not be able to get us out of our pants... but they can, most likely, make us tinkle in them!

so, my first Tinkle Worthy funny fuck:

Zac Galifaianakis

the Hangover, Youth in Revolt, Up in the Air.[& more] 

 Galifianakis hosted Saturday Night Live this week (Saturday, March 6th) & his opening monologue was hilar.

So far, we've only seen him in a few things, but he's def about to take off, landing him in the ranks with other tinkle worthy funny fucks; Seth Rogan, Jonah Hill, & Will Ferrell.

luvs it*

trav vs. dave grohl

i told Trav, a while ago, that he looked like Dave Grohl...
 
he said "no i don't"....

other people said "no i don't..." 

i said "yea... ya do..."

i think i'm pretttttty spot on....

bazinga!

luvs it*

3 is the magic number

all i need is 3 more followers to hit 100 & announce my giveaway!!!

here's a hint of something in the giveaway:

who will you be, numbers 98, 99, & 100!?

 

luvs it*

fyi deals: Fishes Eddy

 ma got me these a while back:

luvs it*

Ambar in Wonderland

my lady, Ambar wrote a great review of Urban Decay's Alice in Wonderland Book of Shadows.

if you don't already, please make sure to read her uh-mazing bliggity blog!

i'm off to count my pennies to see if i can get this eye shadow set!

[& if i can find it still in stock anywhere!]

luvs u ambar*

season premiere: How to Make it in America

i FINALLY caught up with the new HBO show...

it's a 30 min show on at 1030 on Sundays staring my sexy hot future husband [he's # 2 on my list after Shia],

Bryan Greenberg.

probably the coolest thing about this show, is how i heard about it. Straight from the mouth of my future hubby himself! B. Greenberg had Kid Kudi [who plays Domingo] come out & sing a duet with him & then they announced the show at the concert of his i went to with JenBunny last summer. The concert was at the Highline Ballroom in NYC.

it's a great show that really unfolded nicely so far.  It follows B. Greenberg as Ben Epstein & his best friend Cam, played by Victor Rasuk [Stop-Loss], as they attempt to "Make it" in New York City.

i'm personally, so far, in luv with it.

 
if you have HBO, give it a watch. it's really good & i hope that people watch it so it sticks around.

luvs it*

Foto Friday: Alice in Wonderland pt. 2

 

hahaha, had to.

luvs it*

Foto Friday: Alice in Wonderland

Are you sick of hearing me talk about Alice in Wonderland yet?! haha

psh! it's Foto Friday, hellooooo!
well, i've shown you many photos, some from my girl Annie Lebovitz, some from good 'ole WeHeartIt.com, but you haven't had a chance to see MINE!

here is a photo that i did as part of a collection for my Digital Photography course in college. The collection was about Fantasy, Fairy Tales, and Folk Tales.

Alice in Wonderland

[i got an A+!]

 

what's YOUR favourite Alice photo?

e-mail to Spankyluvsit@gmail.com to submit (or to buy a print of this photo! haha!)

luvs it*

Down the Rabbit Hole!

Here i go!!!

I've scheduled this post to go up right before i take the plunge...

down the Rabbit Hole!!!

see you when i'm back!

"after this, i shall think nothing of falling down stairs!" 

-Alice

luvs it*

Thirsty Thursdays: Alice in Wonderland

Obviously the Thirsty Thursday is gong to be about Alice in Wonderland...

Here's a recipe for a drink that i've never had, but i plan to order tonight, before the movie!

Alice in Wonderland Cocktail

paraphernalia:

• 1 part Amaretto
• 1 part Grand Marnier (orange liqueur)
• 1 part Southern Comfort 

served on the rocks

Wonderland Cocktail

paraphernalia:

• 2 oz Absolut Vodka
• 1/4 oz lime juice
• 1 tsp lemon juice
• Splash of Grenadine
• club soda

Pour all ingredients into a rocks glass filled with ice. 

Mad Hatter Cocktail

paraphernalia:

• 2 parts Vodka (freezer temp)
• 1 part Cointreau
• 1 part peach schnapps (archers)
• 1 part Bacardi
• 1 part Mango juice

1 part vodka, peach schnapps, Bacardi shake well with ice - 1 part vodka, Cointreau, mango juice shake and serve.

White Rabbit Cocktail

paraphernalia:

• 3 ounces Vodka
• 3 ounces Vanilla Liqueur
• 1 ounce milk

served on the rocks.

Of course, you could always be lame...

Iced *Tea* Cocktail

paraphernalia:

• 1 to 2 parts Earl Grey-infused vodka (see below)
• 2 parts lemon soda (E.g., Limonata, Squirt, Fresca, 7-UP)
• a sprig of mint (optional)
• a thinly sliced lemon (optional)
• a splash of simple syrup (optional)

To make Earl Grey-infused vodka: For a 750 ml bottle, steep 4 tea bags for four to five hours (or until it's brewed-tea color; don't let it sit too long, or it will get bitter and tannic).

Simple syrup is equal parts by measure of sugar and water, heated to dissolve the sugar, and cooled.

To construct cocktail: Fill a tall glass with ice. Pour one to two parts vodka (depending on how strong you like it over ice. Add two parts lemon soda as a mixer. Add lemon, mint, and/or simple syrup if desired.

[source: Chuck from Yahoo Answers]

or just a hot tea with gin to make a "Tea Frog" or whiskey to make it Irish!

luvs it*

ur wish: Jackie*

"I want to open my own bakery.

I want to open my own bakery one day because i love to make all types of delicious baked goods. 
I also hope to be able to contribute some of the money i make to helping a good cause and changing the lives of people. 
As in, 
changing the world one cupcake at a time!"

-Jackie

of

Purple Monkey [blog]

[make sure to keep up with all the wishes

by clicking on the "wish" icon on the sidebar.

Submit your wishes to be posted - info here -

also, read my wish & how i hope to donate to 

the Make a Wish foundation with your help!]

luvs it*

Wordy Wednesday: Lewis Carroll

He may have been positively Mad, but there's absolutely no way that ANYONE could say he wasn't a genius of words.
to celebrate Alice in Wonderland week, i'm bringing back Wordy Wednesdays, and naturally, today i'm posting about:

Lewis Carroll

author of Alice in Wonderland & Through the Looking Glass

He often gives us "very good advice", even if we "very seldom follow it":

"Always speak the truth, think before you speak, and write it down afterwards."

"Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end; then stop."

"Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it."

"I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then."

"If you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there."

made us believe in imagination:

"Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?"

"In a Wonderland they lie, Dreaming as the days go by, Dreaming as the summers die:
Ever drifting down the stream- Lingering in the golden gleam- Life, what is it but a dream?"

"One of the deep secrets of life is that all that is really worth the doing is what we do for others"

& wrote some of the best poems in literary history, which i have posted on The Q:

All in the Golden Afternoon

[read here]

 

Jabberwocky

[read here]

You Are Old, Father William

[read here]

& my favourite poem of all time...

The Walrus & The Carpenter

[read here]

So Lewis, we celebrate you today, & this entire week. Your words of wisdom over power any sort of creepy undertone, in my eyes. 

[the real Alice, Alice Liddell. Photographed by Lewis Carroll]

& with that curiouser & curiouser notion, i thank you for leading me down the Rabbit Hole & into Wonderland over & over again.

luvs it*

too hot tuesday: Johnny Depp*

Gee... who could POSSIBLY be the Too Hot Tuesday yum-duck on Alice in Wonderland week...

ok, duh.
i don't have to tell any of... anyone... that one of THE SEXIEST men on the f'n planet is, absolutely:

Johnny Depp

helloooo. He made us tear up in Cry-Baby, taught us not to judge too quickly in Edward Scissorhands, entertained us with dancing buns in Benny & Joon, kiiiinda made us wanna vom in Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas... but it was ok, because he made it up to us by enchanted us as a hot irish "river rat" gypsy in Chocolat.

He's whisked us off to the Caribbean, invited us into a Chocolate Factory, took us back to Fleet Street & taught us to fly to Neverland... now, on Alice week, he's taking us on an adventure in Wonderland.

[ya... i'd basically follow him anywhere...]

In his 7th collaboration with one of my visionary genius idols, Tim Burton, Johnny Depp will be playing a seriously fantastic role, The Mad Hatter.

[ok, maybe he's not "hot", per-se, in Alice...

but it's it kinda even hotter than he can

be so weirdly magnetic in a 

seriously orange wig? 

maaaaybe it's just me...]

That's not all, homeboy has two films in post production, one filming, two in pre-production & a whopping 14 FILMS in development!

[one of which is, obvi, with Burton again -

Dark Shadows potentially in 2011]

YoWzA!

my luvs, i ask you, who else is as freak'n kool as Johnny Depp?
 

he's so balla, he turned an unfortunate tat into one of the slickest cover ups ever, with a quick ink fix, he makes being a  

"Wino Forever" 

soooo fuck'n hotttttt!

personally, i can't freak'n wait to see what this scorching hot Duck of a Million Masks does next!

what's YOUR favourite Johnny Depp 

movie, moment, character... anything?!

if you have any suuuuper scrumptious photos of this weeks THT, please feel free to either upload them on the Spanky luvs it* facebook fan page, or e-mail them to Spankyluvsit@gmail.com

& always, if you wanna nominate a drool worthy celebu-duck for a Too Hot Tuesday, shoot me a message via e-mail with a few photos, and a short nomination paragraph!

{2 days, 1 hour & 17 mins until 

i fall down the rabbit hole!}

luvs it*