liminality: Alive in Wonderland

i don't know if any of you saw, but i had the chance to write a guest post on Diamond in the Rough. The Assignment was to write about Liminality, & [after looking up the definition], i was happy to oblige, and excited to get started. There's also a "Gather Round & Meet..." about me & the bliggity.

[please make sure to check out Diamond in the Rough!]

Liminality: Alive in Wonderland

 

I’m a space cadet that over thinks everything. I’m a completely over-analytical flake, a slob with OCD, a fantasy obsessed realist. My brain is constructed with Organized Chaos.

I have a pretty broad vocabulary, but I hadn’t heard the word liminality until now.

I’m reminded of a the movie “Phoebe in Wonderland”, about a young girl (Elle Fanning) who lives between two worlds. Similar to Alice in Wonderland, but instead of falling down a Rabbit Hole and having a whirlwind adventure, only to visit again through a Looking Glass, Phoebe continuously lives in the “in-between”.

I often feel that this is how I live my life. This may be the reason I insist on making lists, charts, calendars, organized piles with distinction, reminders telling me not to forget to do something important, with another reminder telling me not to dismiss the previous, until it’s complete.

How many moments, adding up to hours, days, do I spend trying to find the answer?

There is no up, no down, only in between. I work to get the first thing done, but before I can even get the materials out to do so, my mind has wandered, hop, skip & jump, three things past & I must sit & scramble to put the pieces together to find where I’m at.

It makes it very difficult to get much done.

Structure, purpose, goals, ideals, deadlines, assignments, distractions, imagination, self destruction, excuses, shame, exhaustion…

Like Alice, I beg for a world that isn’t the way this one is. I would love to live among Flowers that sang to me, bread & butterflies, tea parties with no reason, but plenty of rhymes, but again, I know, much like she eventually did, I’d beg for normalcy, structure and sense.

Beg for my feet to land, lightly on the ground, right side up at the bottom of the Rabbit hole, with a way to reach the top again, or the sense to look up, toward the light of reality.

 

“Alice, wake up! Please wake up Alice!”

Liminality, to me, shows that great space between; the cognitive limbo, my impervious purgatory, the incredible heaven/ hell concubinage, resistance to reality, acceptance of fantasy, allowance of uncertainty.

“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn’t be. And what it wouldn’t be, it would. You see?”

i hope you all enjoyed!

advice like *quack* from a real life duck.

Hi Babers!

After my post "Guy Time Zones" and my gush over the h.ween duck (who never called - boo), i felt the need to dive in DEEPER! So... look what i got for all of you! a real live DUCK to tell us how it is!

Ryan, hilarious author of the witty, informative, intelligent blog ETC. ETC. ETC. went to High School with me in our little silly town in CT. (he was a year ahead of me though & we didn't talk until way after we'd both graduated). Had i known he was such a riot, i would have spoken up sooner!

To all my luvs: READ his blog. it's fantasmic, you'll luvs it. It's become a must read for me & i know it will for you too.

So, without further drooling from this chick, i present to you, the ducks take, on guy time!

To all those who "luvs it", I'm here to share some wisdom. Spanky asked me if I could do a little guest spot on her blog and I thought it was a great idea. For those who don't know, I'm Ryan and write the eclectic and addictive blog ETC. ETC. ETC. (I had to throw in a shameless plug, check it out....rcazalet.blogspot.com). As a fellow blogger, I like to check out other blogs that are doing big things, and Spanky Luvs It happens to be one of those. Yet I couldn't help but notice that one large demographic has been left out of the mix and that is the often unheard male voice. So I campaigned across the information highway to be the spokesperson of a forgotten breed. I hit the campaign trail hard and the voters across the country said on one voice "YES WE CAN". I had originally planned on writing about the 10 things guys LUV right now, but instead came across an interesting little diddy from spanky's latest blog post... Guy Time. In order to understand guy time, we must first understand "guy mind".

Here's a little mantra that I always use when trying to pick up a girl, "What would Clooney do?" It's simple and effective. Guys are always tying to look cool. Not cool like the popular kid in middle school, but cool like Clooney, or perhaps the right word is confident. In most Clooney movies (and based on what I've read, in real life too) George pulls off the perfect balance between uninterested and flirtatious. And if you notice, the guys that are always getting girls walk that line to perfection.

What's interesting though is that the same basic principles apply for both guys and girls; you don't want to seem too interested and we all want what we can't have. Or at least what we think we can't have. For instance, if your looking for a job and someone from ask.com tells you they want you to work for them starting immediately, but someone at Google tells you they like your work and should get together some time to talk about it, are you going to take the job with ask.com or wait and see with Google?

So now that we have more of an understanding of what a guy is thinking, we can now address guy time. We wait because we want to look uninterested. We wait because we want to look cool. And by trying to look cool that means, of course, we don't want to look stupid. We don't want to send a text message the next day that says something to the effect of "hey baby, lets hang out" (don't even get me started about how hard it is to send an effective text message in these situations). So we wait. We try and think of something to say. We sometimes type it into our phone, read it and delete it because it sounds stupid. So we wait. Because usually if we call or text the same day of getting your number, we just say something stupid that completely ruins any chance we had. So we wait.

We wait until the girl is so frustrated and mad that she is ready to delete your number out of her phone. We wait until the girl is on the brink of calling you up just say your an asshole...and then we make contact. Sometimes its too late, but that's a risk we're willing to take. Some guys are purists and wait two days, others wait a week. It's up to you realize when it's too soon and when its too late. Do I like the system, no I don't. Did I just pose a question and then answer it, yes I did. But there are some things that a girl can do to combat this frustrating system.

As I said earlier, the same basic principles apply for guys and girls. Girls don't want to call or text a guy too soon for the same reasons guys don't...they don't want to seem like a stalker or a desperate loser. So what can you do when a guy you want to call isnt? Be proactive. Send him a text, but choose your words carefully. Don't ask the guy why he is ignoring you and don't ask him out. Be flirty, but don't be pushy. Esentially you should apply the Clooney Mantra, except it would be more like the "Fox Mantra"; What would Megan Fox do. And at the end of the day just remember this....the guy doesn't look like George Clooney and you don't look like Megan Fox ( and if you do, call me)

So why do we wait.....because we don't have as much game as George Clooney

a huge thanks to Ryan for giving us the "what's up".

luvs it*