diary of a manic obsessive.


Valentine's Day


Valentine's Day...

Who is it up to to make the plans?

I just texted my boyfriend to ask if he will be with me for Val Day (he has plans the night before which are away at the casino, yes i know it seems weird i had to ask, but when he gets on those tables...) He said he will & i immediately answered with "ok, great! I'll make dinner!" then i asked him what he'd like to eat.. then i thought for a moment...

maybe it would be much more romantic if he did all the planning for Val Day. Let him figure it out. i promised him a certain "favour" & i've already purchased him a sweet gift, but i think that is the point of Val Day, isn't it? being out of the ordinary, romance wise.

  • i think i'd like a day where maybe i'm swept off my feet a bit. i do wish he wasn't going away the night before & i'll be spending the day before very busy as well (why are you a Sunday, Val Day?!!) but that's just what it is.
Let's look at that a bit. My immediate thought was that i should do something to please him. This is in no way a reflection of him. he has never made me feel that i should "serve" him. 

However, there is one thing that i don't think M even really totally realizes:

i never really have had a real valentine'd day


My Mother's bday is Feb 14 - Val Day - so, when i was growing up & had boyfriends in high school & even middle school, even into college i was with my mom for her bday on feb 14. when i was with X, i'm sure we did stuff, but i can't even remember, so it couldn't have been great.

TBH there are two Val Days that stick out in my mind...

1. Valentine's Day: Age: uhhh... 6th grade, so... i think it was 1997 & i was... 11? i didn't get to go out ON Val Day, but i was taken out for my first ever Val Day date. K (name hidden) & i were driven to the movies by his dad. when we parked at the movie theatre, he handed me a topazy type stone (red) in the shape of a heart & a Hershey's chocolate bar. his father (such a sweet guy) dropped us off & said he'd be back to get us. We went in & he bought my ticket to see The Wedding Singer (wait whilst i fact check... HA ok, it was 1998 - thank you Google) & i remember we laughed because the story takes place in Ridgefield, NJ & we lived in Ridgefield, CT - however, the guy sitting in front of me was tall & i'm hella short, so his head perfectly blocked the "NJ" part & so, obviously, being 11, i ignored the blatant cues to new jersey & i just assumed the movie was set in my home town... there was no kiss, there was no anything, i doubt we even held hands. (dude, i was 11. c'mon) but it was sweet & special & i'll remember it forever

2.  last year. i moved into my house on the 11th (i think, google can't help me fact check that one) & i believe i was sick a few days after & M had come over & brought be a single rose to cheer me up bc i was sick. i'd struggled to find a vase at this new home & ended up putting it in a Guinness glass. Then, the night before Val Day, he went to the casino (woah, pattern?) & i went out to over the days prior to pick up a few sweet things for my new boyf (we'd been together a month & a half at this point) - the biggest thing, in my eyes, that i got him was a toothbrush. (ya, seems lame, but if you're a girl, it's kind of like giving a ring, it's commitment, it's one step below a key or the password to your phone, or your pin number. BTW, he has/knows all of those...) - So, i made this ridiculous trail of love notes from my door (which i left unlocked so he would come to my house after i went to sleep & climb into bed) & there were elaborate notes, decorations & even a gift hanging from the other end of my door to hang in his face if he opened the door so he couldn't miss it... well, turned out he didn't come over whilst i slept... so obviously me, being the anxious freak i am, i kept waking up thru the night checking the clock & my phone, but nothing. M wasn't there... 

then, the next day, real Val Day, he showed up with apologies for not being there the night before & with a build a bear Hello Kitty & a rose. HK was also totally naked other than a heart shaped "I <3 U" pillow she was holding & HK slippers on her feet. 

I've always loved that he thought to go buy accessories for her, but the idea of clothing her didn't even pass thru his mind. how cute. how genuine. how real. he just saw what he wants to get or how he wanted to show me love & didn't even think "oh, well i need to spend $20 on a dress or an outfit of some kind because i can't give her a naked build a bear" - no, he tossed that to the wind - here's you HK i made you, she's naked & free!!! not only that, he remembered that i had mentioned to him how i wanted a kitten named Edgar. he couldn't totally remember the name Edgar (can't blame him, the name has been used ONCE in like 300 years that anyone knows about) so he typed in "Egnot" on the birth certificate for my HK build a bear. i also remember saying to him "she's naked!" & he basically shrugged in a "who cares? I LOVE YOU" type of way. Then, this is the important part, i asked him if the build a bear ppl made him jump up & down & spin around & do all the silly stuff - most importantly, kiss the heart. - to this he replied "She's got two, one for me, one for you, i kissed them both".......... ::swoon::

Valentine's Day is a lot of different things to everyone. some are cynical saying it s a Hallmark holiday. to me it's so many things. it's a day of love, for sure. but it's also my Moms birthday, my dogs birthday, one of my BFFs moms birthday (same year as my mom, how weird!) & it's the day that a boy had his dad drive us to the moves to see an Adam Sandler film & it's the day another boy didn't care about conventions & gave me a hello kitty doll, even though i was 28 years old, because he knew it was something that i'd love & he put two hearts. one for me, one for him.  

happy early valentine's day, my luvs.

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