the belief in beauty

i let someone in today.
really, really in... into the darkness that you all don't see. no one sees.

it was scary,

but...

now i feel better.

after i let my secret out, i told them how i believe in the "religion" of beauty.  it's always bothered me that the core truth behind all religious beliefs is supposed to be love, yet, the world has manipulated everything about religion to turn it into a stubourn foot to stand on in the fight for division.

i think that's nuts, so i refuse to believe it.

i'll be religious, but i'll believe in beauty, art and love. 

maybe that makes me a hippie, but, great, fantastic. i'm fine with that.

it's about respecting the life, the luv & the  gifts we have been given.

look at this clip from *The Little Princess* & tell me that you don't have your breath knocked out of you by the beauty of it. Sure, it may not be what you, or anyone you may know would think of as conventional, but it's a contemporary vision of a story and a belief that's ancient.

my religious, out of body moments happen when something brings a euphoric mental image to my mind, that sends chills down my spine, brings tears to my eyes & makes my heart swell.

when i saw the Beatles *LOVE* show in Vegas, or hear there songs.

when i see a perfect photo or painting.

when i see the amazing images in a new film mashed together with the perfect soundtrack in a trailer.

a literary string of words that flow in perfect rhythm.

just like ziggy... love is my religion.

how can anyone not see the absolute, insane, mind blowing beauty in every belief?

William Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet (directed by the uh-mazing Baz Luhrmann) is littered in tradegic, exquisite, allure.

if these things don't send the most sensational spasms through your nerves, than you just don't have blood in your heart. seriously.

 i told my friend how i have a dream to have a gorgeous mantle covered in beautiful bits of every belief. that may seem blasphemous to some, but to me, it seems like the best belief there are.

statues of gods, saints, madalions, paintings, beads, poetry, lace, art, love, everything.

everything.

a center piece, in a perfect little living room, dripping with love and illuminated with twinkle lights.

perf.

what do you think?

luvs it*

i misses you!

Hi luvies,

I'm seriously missing my bloggie buddies.
I thought I'd try to drop a quick line to let you all know that i'm still here, i'm just on a bit of a crazy train these days.

My sis-piece started college. I've been boo-hoo'n a little bit. I already really miss her & it's only been since Saturday.My birthday was last Thursday (woohoo, 23!) but that meant a ton of shit to do. Party preperations (which cleaned my bank account out, happy birthday to me...) then the stress of cleaning, setting up & then, the day of.... the MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF RAIN which turned my classy backyard party (well, as classy as one can be with a Keg & Vodka Sno-Cones) into a mini Woodstock mud party. eek!

The Jingle Contest project that i wrote about before for work is finally coming to a close and i have a lot of last minute work to do on that (stayed an extra, unpaid half hour doing some final touches today, ugh).

SCHOOL! I'm going back!

Finally! I've registered for classes again after a year & a half of being in between schools & having my Associates Degree & wanting to work toward a BA. I'm stoked, but, shit, i'm stress'n like woah. Full Time work & even just Part Time online school is gunna be wicked hard work, in a biggg way.

jinky's y'all...

i really hope that i'll be able to figure out my timing so that i can still be here for all of you fancies.

also...

drum roll...

i have a winner!


Thank you Scarlet Begonias from Once in a While You Get Shown the Light! Your photo was my fav! i'm luv'n the peace & luv vibe, and of course, you all know my passion for the Beatles. dig it.

please let me know your e-mail address so that i can contact you about your Prize! OoOoOoLaLa!

luvs it*

what happens in Vegas..... get's written about on my blog!

Ok. so i feel like i'm failing miserably as a Blogger.. Blogger? Bloggie? Bloggette?!

I started off kinda strong, but i think i missed a step (y'know... that whole... FIND PEOPLE TO READ YOUR SHIT part)... well, i'm hoping that my few readers (luvs ur faces!) will continue to peer into my world for a few mins at a time. (you have to admit.. at least there's always pretty stuff to look at...)

SO, here's a few things that have been going on in my usually boring life:

LAS VEGAS!

it was a-mazing. I went w/ Amy CakeFace (Amy, BFFer from work) , Rickdiculous (Rick, friend from work) & Booby (Bobby, friend through Rick).
We stayed at the lovely MGM Grand. It was pretty spectacular. I won some, lost some, got in a fight with the Indiana Jones slot machine & got very upset (being in luv w/ Shia, i thought i'd have better luck on that one... but Indie was being stuborn & took my $5... what a bitch...)

We gambled at Paris (b-e-a-utiful. if you go to vegas, go to paris). Tequila Ricky (tequilia shot tour down the strip turned the boys into their obnoxious, 5 year old, rambunxious selves... aka Tequila Ricky & Tequlia Bobby... oiy)... Anyway, Tequila Ricky had the line of the trip (well, one anyway) throwing his hands in the air out to the side, facing the sky with a goofy grin & drunkie eyes & pulling the air toward him with his wiggeling finger tips stated

"i LOVE paris... it's always sunny here!"

it was cute... until i lost $70 on the god damn rulette table. Our dealer doode, Haroon (like harpoon, but not) was kinda laughing at me... what a dick. i told him we were no longer friends.


Then we met Dave. the boys were one red bull vod from going totes gay for Dave the Casino War dealer. He was awesome, but then he was gone. just like our money, booze, some of our dignity & like my ability to walk... (Please be warned, walking the strip is not friends with wearing heels... yes, i know, i'm a moron.. it was also the first night, FML.com...)



We (me & amy) got us (all 4) into Prive for Lil John's party... nbd (cough cough NAME DROP cough) where we met...

Shmandy Shmiloshmakus (Andy Milonakis)!!!

I made out w/ some dude that looked like Chandler Bing/Michael J. Fox or something. Amy & I danced up on some surface living out (partially) our dreams of being Vegas Go-Go girls, and were left in Planet Hollywood by the dumb boys.
Amy & i went to the Bellagio hotel buffet. Good, but not worth $45. If you go to vegas, & go to a buffet... go to a cheaper one. i wish i hadn't spent that kinda money on a buffet (which i ended up puking up anyway...)

Days were spent poolside at the MGM Lazy River (awesome) were we chatted up some boys & Amy met her luv... tragically, he couldn't see us that night & then we came back to the shit hole, i mean, CT... he was truley wonderful though. a real gentleman who even escorted me to the ladies room when i wasn't sure of where it was. he did want to hurry back to our lounging area though, as he didn't want to leave amy alone for too long, saying that he "missed her" (after we'd only walked to the b.room about 40 feet away...). hey ame, you go girl. rocked it!


Ghost Bar was un-fucking-real (the first pic is there, looking at the view). being 55 stories up, overlooking the entire city was pretty sicktastic. Too bad it was a dead night, and the 3 hot guys that i was about to bump into gave off a wiff of Gay that me, rick & amy all caught at the same time. (no, they weren't like all of a sudden very obviously gay, we just all at the same time got the vibe). Poo-poo, they were pretty, and i wanted to have them. not for keeps, just to borrow.
We migrated from ghost bar (which now that i think about it is ironic that it was dead... liek a ghost town... a ghost bar... haha) back down & through the Palms to the Playboy club & onto Moon where we saw Chuck Liddell (scary scary man!) and mother fucking NELLY touched my back as he walked by. Amy & i danced our pants off (which was weird, bc we were in dresses) and had a blasty. My fancy shoes lasted longer than i thought they would before i gave in & changed to flops.



I met another boy named Walter (i... think...) who was a lovely boy with great style (even though i KNOW he must have been overheated). We danced & it rained bubble-suds. His brother (Marcus?) had killer moves & moonwalked around us all as amy looked like a *rockstar* in her GORG new BCBG dress. but... buzz kill alert... once again... we were left by the stupid boys.
So that was basically our trip... i flew on a plane for the first and second time. i didn't die. (whooohoooo!)

i saved the best part for last...

Amy & I... went to the Mirage... & saw...

LOVE
Cirque del Sole show based on the Beatles Music.

it was the most inspired and heartbreakingly wonderful thing i've ever seen in my silly little life. I literally sat there in awe and wonder. i don't think i'll ever bee the same. tears of absolute joy fought their way out of me. That show changed my life. (but that kinda sounds silly...)

see it... immediately... anyone who can. don't waste your damn time w/ something dumb. see it. it needs to be seen. it needs to be shared. it needs to be LUVD!

i hope that you enjoyed reading about my trip. More to come soon (i hope).

luvs it*

don't quit ur day job... (bachelor spoiler..)

So it goes w/o saying that i'm not very good at keeping up w/ shit.
i haven't written in over a month & before that, i'd written a whopping ONE entry!
it's not even like i have nothing to say, i have sooooo much to say.
let me just start off w/ a few things that i've learned or what have you that i wanted to share...

a) Shia Labeouf is my new FAV (yum. we'll get back to that in a bit...)

b) Matt Grant is totally the best Bachelor ever & Shayne was MY pic from the FIRST EPISODE! (not to mention she & i share the "monkey" nickname) Brad was a hot, hot, hottie... but what the fuck, right? Can we all just agree that the phrase "monkey, will u marry me?" is the cutest eff'n thing?!?!

-lets also just take a moment to thank Brad Womack for being a (beautiful) dickwad & screwing the chicks over last season on the Bachelor, so that now WE can all look at 25 yummy pieces of MAN MEAT for the next however many weeks while Dianna gets to play luckiest woman in the world on the new season of the Bachelorette (starting monday, may 19th)


c) Joseph Gordon-Levitt (who i had such a crush on way back in the 3rd rock from the sun days) was in a movie last year called The Lookout... i just watched yesterday... it's pretty freak'n awesome. He's really showing some serious acting ability between this & the ever so good Stop-Loss. I'm thinking we got a newbie to the academy award spotlight... (plus, he's so cute!) Rock on JG-L.












d) Speaking of which... Stop-Loss... amazing... if you haven't seen it, see it asap. it's soooo good... Kimberly Pierce, the director of Oscar Winning Boys Don't Cry, has done it again. I was initially so stoked to see this movie bc in one of my film classes i saw a wicked good Documentary called This Film is Not Yet Rated where K.Pierce said the reason she hadn't made a movie since the 95/99 Boys Don't Cry was bc she hadn't yet found anything that she was passionate about enough to make a movie about. Hearing her say that & then to learn that she had a new flick, i had a good feeling. Anything w/ that much focused passion, has to be amazing.
- (plus.. Ryan Phillipe, Channing Tatum & Joseph Gordon-Levitt... need i say much more?)



e) for some personal shit... my job sucks... i hate it... ugh... (just had to get that out.. that's basically the main common denominator in my life these days.. that & oh ya.. depessingly low amounts of sex.. grrreattt..)
- wow, that was depressing... on to more FUN shit!



f) I started watching Secret Diary of a Call Girl online (the 2nd season will be on Showtime starting june 16th) Billie Piper is a riot, i really like her. Rock on Billie Piper! (& Ben, her "ex" / "best mate" is sucha lil english cutie) The show in itself is a novelty bc it's based off the book Belle de Jour: Diary of an Unlikely Call Girl written by an Anonymous 28-year-old London Call Girl. Now that i'm involved in the show, I'm for sure reading that book... Juicy! I'm wicked stoked bc it's going to air right after my new fav show Weeds. I wonder if ppl wuld call me "clever"




g) I found this album on iTunes (i kinda fumbled upon it) it's called Here Comes the Sun : a Reggae Tribute to the Beatles. it's a bunch of different reggae singers & groups & such singing Beatles songs. The group Ellis Island did the cover of "With a little help from my friends" & i think it's luvly. I even took my silly little pink cell phone & made it my message alert. now every time any of you that are my real life friends text me... i'll be hearing "i get by with a little help from my friends" & partially thinking of the wonder years. (::teehee::)

-how tight is that cover, right?


h) Flyleaf's new song Sorrow is pretty damn good, & i don't really even like that kinda music usually. the video is inspiring.


i) i'm excited bc i'm trying a new green tea diet. more to come :o)


aight, now that it's getting a little late, i'll get to my fav part... the yum yums.

Shia* (source)

good god.
i knew that he was a cutie pie, a cross between the awkward goofy cuteness of justin long & jon krasinki, & his talent & comedic timing promising to take the former Disney Channel trouble maker into the limelight for years & years & years to come. (maybe i'll get to be his arm candy... mmm... He's only a month & a half older than me! it's perfect - & i usually like my men a little older than that... but i'll make an exception for Shia...)

So ok, we all knew he was silly, funny, goofy, cute. but can we just PELASE take a moment to check this shit out. This is the first "exposed" Shia babe shots that i've seen & OMFG, can i get some more? Shia, please don't turn into a McConaughey -who apperently forgot a long time ago what a shirt IS. (not that we don't wanna see it matthew... but y'know... men like tits, but if chicks went around topless all the time, i promise you'd get a little bored...) - anyway back to my Shia... maybe just get yourself caught on camera a few more times... & touch your nose as a secret signal to me in one of those pics... then i'll know that you luvs me too (mmm... i need a new hobbie...)

Apparently my new hunk had a jones for my girls the Olsen twins (well guess what Shia, i've been told i have a certain resemblance to the olsen chickies. Even tho i guess he liked him some Mary-kate & i'm a bit more of an Ashley... mer...)

what is that tat Shia?

To ad to my recent delight for mr. labeouf, his attitude & seemingly (i hope) humble nature is endearing & sweet! I read the article by the Associated Press about Shia's infamous "Walgreens Scandal" . The article basically was just a recount of Shia's monday night visit to Letterman & how he told him & the rest of the Late Night viewers what really happened at that Walgreens. --Shia, sweetie, we've all been there... drunk, out of smokes & looking like an idiot bc we're trying not to look... well.. like an idiot... i still luvs u.--

"His story: He had a hankering for cigarettes — and was preoccupied by pimple on his forehead.

"So I go to Walgreen's and I go to the cosmetic aisle," LaBeouf recalled, "and I see the security guard and he's looking at me, four in the morning, pretty disheveled, pretty messed up on the special magic sauce. And I get the pimple cream, and he's looking at me, he's kinda giggling to himself, and now I'm starting to feel like, `What? It's really not that funny, guy, you know?'"

A bashful LaBeouf went back to his hotel and realized he'd forgotten to buy the smokes. The actor says he returned to Walgreen's wearing different clothes: "I'm going, `Well, now the guy saw me, now what am I gonna do?' So I do an outfit change." "

here's the rest of the AP article, it's good. READ IT

- god, he's even yummy in his mug shot! what pimple babers? ur perfect.

ok my luvrs... i think its time for this sleepy chickadee to turn in (after a cigg & about 2 hours of tivo...)

hope u enjoyed hearing about everything i luvs.

muah

luvs it*