diary of a manic obsessive.


punk'd, puzzled & a little pissed?

is Ashton Kutcher, God? ...becuase there is something seriously wack going on.

after i posted last nights late update on the whole crazy double duck drama, what happen?

a random IM came through to my iPhone (which i didn't even know had been logged on) from Duckie from Down Under, Aussie Duck, or, maybe i'll call him Dingo?

veeeeeeeeeeeery long story that i'm going to try to paraphrase the hell out of:

Once upon a time, there was a chickie named Spanky*, well, given the subject, we'll call her a Shelia (luvs Aussie terms). It was the start of high school, & this Shelia met a boy. He was new in town, fuck he was new to the country. He was Australian [ya, swoon, right?] His "name", Dingo, & they were instantly friends. They grew very close over the four years of high school & developed a strange, yet organic relationship that was defined by fuzzy lines. They had a great time together & she spent many nights at his house having dinner with his family (whom she affectionately adopted as her own second family) having chinese dinners, talking about their amazing world travels & even getting to hold the Olympic tourch his father had ran with in the Sidney Olympics [ballaaa!].
Senior year, the planets arranged themselves in an certain odd way that caused an interesting plot twist... they hooked up. [gasp!]

feelings were tossed around & they ended up opting to date. they went to Sr. year homecoming together & had a great time! but, then things got strange. looking back, she thinks that maybe he wasn't that into the idea & may have even been feeling a little weird about the relationship shift.
they fought a lot (which sucked because they only officially dated for a whopping 2 weeks). eventually (aka 2 weeks into it) they called it quits after an awkward conversation about how they both kiiiinda felt like brother & sister. [ew]
flash forward a few weeks of cumbersome readjustment & the Shelia met a new boy (Stinky Ex-Duck), Dingo dated a mutual friend & the two were friends again.
after a semester at the local Community College, Dingo decided he wanted to return to his roots, he picked up & went back to Australia. The Shelia was heartbroken. She couldn't stand to lose her friend, but, as promised, they stayed in touch, calling when they could, IMing and eventually (years later) video chat on Skype.
He came back to visit a few times, once for surgery, & she spent basically his entire visit, held up in bed with him playing video games & helping is mum take care of him.
A visit after that was when the hosue was still on the market, but the rest of the family moved to Spain. When he'd gone home for the night in the big empty house in the woods, he called her up & asked if she'd come spend the night saying "it's too scary in this big empty house" [awe, mr. 6 foot 4 is afraid of the dark?]
of course she went & they talked & watched tv until they fell asleep.
Dingo came back a few times with the usual 6 month to a year between. They talked sporadically, but they were always caught up on what was going on in the others life. She was proud of his work (in design school), but she didn't much care for his rude girlfriend. She always blushed a bit when a friend of his would grab the phone away from him to talk to Spanky*, who they'd "heard SO much about!" [cute!]
[i really hope you're still reading... it's getting good.]
they even joked that if they were 28 & single, they'd get married, but if one of them was to be hitched before then, they'd be the others best man/maid of honour. She included that little tid bit in a speech she wrote about him for her Public Speaking class in college (it was supposed to commemorate someone. who better than her Bffer Duck that had moved away). He told her once that he told his parents all he wanted for a birthday gift was "a plane ticket so Spanky* can visit". ::tear:: too bad that a Spanky* is WAY more expensive a gift than a nice digital camera... he got the camera. Every time he was hoping to come back to the States, he wanted to tell her, but after a few failed attempts, he told her he wouldn't tell her again unless he was holding a non-refundable plane ticket in his hand. reason: he couldn't take disappointing her so much when he'd have to tell her if plans fell through.

They even had a song. [yes, click the link, it's priceless.]

So, what's the drama, i'm sure you're thinking. well, dumb Shelia got ahead of herself around October of 2008. They'd been Skyping every night, IMing constantly & looking forward to his visit in a few months (with a non-refunable plane ticket). they even made serious plans that she'd save up as much money as possible & fly to Aus. in September of 2008 to live with him for a month or two. They were so excited to be together for Christmas and New Year's Eve in the States, & made heaps of plans of what to spend the nights doing (since, yes, she had to work).

[fuck, believe it or not, this is SO the short version.]

the day came, he was here, she was elated. he landed in JFK around 10:30, Mum picked him up, they got to town at 11:45, he called her at 11:50 & she was at his familys US residency, an adorable town house off Main St., in his arms, being swung around in a massive hug before 12:00.

another big hug for mum (who had been in the states for back surgery [eek!] for a while), then down tot he den for movies, talking, & eventually sleep. Brunch w/ mum in the am, home to change, then back to his place for the rest of the day & another night. blah, blah, blah... sounds like a luvly little happy picture, eh? well it was. (keyword... was)

stupid Shelia had started thinking, a few weeks before Dingo came back, that maybe she really did have feelings for him [cue the pained look on the readers face when they figure out where this is going...]. She even thought, even though the relationship was completely impractical (literally can't get further long distance that CT to Australia...) she thought maybe he felt the same way. (here comes that bomb again...)
before he'd come home, they'd even BOTH had dreams of them being married [woah. weird.]. She told only a few of her friends, simply because she needed help to sort through it. She told JenBunny, AmeCakes, K, & JG. Poor JG ended up being the one that got stuck hearing about it one night while the Shelia was drunk at the bar.
"Girl, i'm freak'n out! i think i might be like, in LOVE with him! what am i going to do!? [wah wah wah, drunk girl crap]"

Questions to answer so this story can be over, already:
yes: they reminised about old time, caught up on current times, she drooled over his projects from school & they went through the boxes of treasures that had been being stored at the town house.
yes: she was so excited when his Pops came back & she was able to see him again.
yes: little sister too.
yes: they went to the mall to pick out an outfit for him to wear for New Year's Eve.
yes: he told her to make the plans bc he was going wherever she was going.
yes: they ended up hooking up one night. [ugh. dammit.] but it wasn't anything too serious.
yes: she spent the night after
yes: he kissed her goodbye the next morning.
no: ...it was a kiss on the forehead.
yes: she felt 3 inches tall.
yes: they still hung out after that.
yes: she did feel like things got a little weird
no: they did not end up having another good night (hook up or not) whilst he was home.
yes: she did find out that he'd slept with her friend JG [yes, the one that she spilled her guts out to before he came...]
no: her "bff" K didn't tell her even though she knew. [f'n bitch...]
[no: i'm not capable of writing a "short story"]
yes: it did happen before & after [& after, & after, & after..... & after...] they'd hooked up that one night
yes: it did click in her head one night at the bar
yes: they did end up at the same NYE party.
no: they were not together
no: they did not talk
no: he didn't wear the outfit they picked out
yes: he was with JG
yes: Shelia did get shitfaced
yes: they ended up getting in to a big fight a week or two later at the bar.
yes: he was an ass
no: he didn't seem to understand when she told him that she wasn't upset that he'd hooked up w/ JG, but that he'd let it affect THEM, when it shouldn't have changed anything.
yes: he said really mean shit that didn't really apply.
yes: he told her that she'd changed, that she was different, that she was the problem.
yes: she believed him.
no: they didn't talk again after that.
yes: she did a total dumb dramatic girl thing & wrote him a sappy letter
yes: she took it to his house the night before he left to go back.
yes: he opened the door.
yes: he hugged her goodbye.
yes: she almost started crying.
no: they didn't talk after that.


what the fuuuuuck?!!??! like there hasn't been enough weirdness going on the last few days?!

he asked her how she has been, & after she said "look, you really hurt me last year, i'm not really looking to jump back into a conversation like nothing happened" he said he was so sorry & he wished he could take it back.

apparently he's coming back for a visit in about a week & is hoping to stay through January. He said he's been through a lot & wants to see her.

i'll tell you something luvrs...
if Stinky Ex-Duck had called last night, JenBunny would be mopping up my brains from her living room right now. head would have exploded.

i hate not ending on a good note, so i'll say, to the old good times & the thought of being hopeful in the future...

luvs it*

ps: JenBunny gave me a bit of advice. she said that my posts are toooo long. what do u think? do u come to my bloggie & see the magnitude of my epic explanations & say "fuuuuck that, i don't got all day, Spanks!", or do u make a cup of tea, [better yet, a glass of Pinot] & curl in to take the ride with me? just curious. i want my luvrs to enjoy my posts, not drudge through them. feedback would be perf!


  1. Ill be very honest with you and it may hurt you here it goes........I LOVE YOUR BLOG!! lol Specially lately long and all, I have been having ablast keeping up with your adventures, and WOW! after this post I cant believe everything you have going on girly! I am looking forward to even longer more exciting posts!:)

  2. hahah you're such an ANGEL! [teehee]. thanks so much. (pah! take THAT jenbunny!)

    i have sooo much to say & it's so hard to find the time to write it all!!!
    i'll be sure to keep the word out.

    luvs u a mill!

  3. It's a bit long spanks, but fuck it, it's entertaining, and you're one of the Irish mob, so I'd read it if it was three times as long anyway.

    Dingo sounds like a confused-as-fuck Down-Under Duck, but you totally shouldn't let your amazing friendship be jeapordised by some other skankologists getting their Hep-B claws into him.

    Just define the lines to yourself, you'll be on your guard anyway from now on, so if you're a bit more careful, you can totally be friends :) xx

  4. hahahahhahaa Conor, my luv. you are fantastic.

  5. Well that is messed up proper. Well- maybe he just wants to be friends. Maybe you should make him choose- friends or more. One of the other and let it be permanent and then try not to get drunkety drunk around him. :)

    Long blog posts are awesome!

    ps) I think it's weird that my "word verification" word is "disses". Does that seem strange to anyone other than me?

  6. I agree with the other comment - Aussie Duck is confused as. What a turd.

    And I LOVE the long posts! I would rather read one ridiculously long post than five short, pointless posts.

  7. haha, thanks to all my luvs.

    i'll post a proper update about this story.



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