my everlasting blog-conundrum

We start these things because we feel we need to give ourselves a voice...

but... then we start to write about things that others want to read because the thought of writing for no one is... depressing. The more we start to write for others, the more our voices become the outer, exposed sense of who we are. this is when the original idea starts to get lost.

we want to be able to share our *secrets* with the world, but we also want people to hear us. So we advertise. we write about relatable topics, but, ooh, careful, nothing too deep, might start to get depressing & you'll bring readers down rather than pep people up. Before you know it, you're spending more time spreading the word than you are bearing your soul. You're Cosmo... no, you're Cosmo Girl... all pep, no pulp...

Facebook, Twitter, MySpace (if you've still got it)... you post your links everywhere to drive traffic... then, you have a soul baring moment that you need to vibe through your body, down your arms to your hands & you wish that you could let your finger tips dance across the keyboard in a rythmic tap dance to express how you really feel... but... gasp... so many people that REALLY know me could potentially read this! eek! What if my boss sees me typing & thinks "oh! i should check out her blog, maybe i'll find something that will make me want to have her write some copy for the business" or, shit! what if that super cute boy from the house party a few weeks ago actually reads my words, swoon... must be perky, upbeat & carefree.

but that's not real.

my blog. my rules. if you want to read it, you gotta be able to swallow it.

we're not perfect. if we were, we'd be writing pulitzer prize winners or college text books (without researching first.. ya, i said "perfect"). We're who we are. all of us, in some way are expected to be imperfect. outsiders on the inside. this is why we start a blog to begin with.

so... to my boss, my friends, my family, hell, my enemies & to that cute boy (swoon)...

this is me...

still slightly censored, but working on baring it all..
i hope you luvs it*