it's that day again. the day before Thanksgiving. All my American blog-ers & -ettes know what THAT means... time to get drunk & see all the people we went to high school with that are home for the holidays....
Like the tradition stands for the past 2 year, JenBunny & I will suit up & stomp out to the local watering holes to squeeze up to the bar, flashy a toothy smile to our b.tender friends & tell them to "keep them coming, no matter what"... Then, drink in hand, we'll turn from the bar & see a sea of people we haven't seen in ages, haven't thought about in ages, or hoped we'd never see again.
i wonder... will the Ex-Duck be there? Wow... now that i think about it, i don't think i ever even talk about him on here. I guess i'll have to give him a cute name... Well, when we were dating, his nickname (from me) was Stinky Face... So i guess, since he's an ex, i'll call him "Stinky Ex-Duck" hahah
So, JenBunny & I will set out with a new mod squad member, GiaPet, newly 21 (awe, she's so cute) & gearing up for her first time out on T.Giving Eve.
what to WEAR?!
-obviously the most important aspect of the evening. It's f'n cold in the North East, so i can't go scandalicious, plus, i don't want anyone thinking that i went from last years "finished community college & got a job" to "working as a middle class hooker escort". (ew, can u just imagine? the creeper face that sat next to me in Sr. year History corners me & offers me a few bills... UGH i'd vommmm!)
-i def want to show off that, since last years fat fest, i've dumped the lumps & luv it.
-Mall w/ GiaPet & Em Butthead Sis Piece should help get some order better than the Chaos that is my room (& the suitcase i'm still kinda living out of - thanks for the loan AmeCakes!)
what to DRINK!?
-you have to have something to take the edge off, but it's all about pacing yourself after that. one good pregame shot should be perf. but it is a bad idea to wait to get to the bar for that relaxer. inevitably, you'll wait to get up to the bar for so long, that you'll end up already having had 15 awkward small talk convos before the booze even sets in. At that point, you'll be so stressed and annoyed, you'll order 3 shots. That'll make you so silly that the next time you go up, you'll want more &, "a round for the house, while you're at it"... bad news bears for liver & bank account... & for your guilt the next morning while you're snoring off the reunion hangover & mom is running around like a turkey with it's head cut off baking pies. never fun.
-wine looks classy, but i luv it too much to be fair to myself. i can get real silly after 3 or 4 glasses... but i won't stop.
-i guess it'll have to be mainly beer. That will protect me from any shot combos, & keep me occupied enough that i won't be sucking down straight gin or vod. eek. i just dread how my tum will fair in the morning. won't be fun!
-def don't want to get carried out... well... unless...
what to SAY?!?
-Hey! How ARE you?! Me? I'm good... I still live at home.... Still working for the online company... ya... the one w/ the strippers and clowns... uh huh.... no, i'm not seeing anyone... ya, i'm in school... in california... no, no, I take online classes... what am i going to do with that? umm... i'm not sure... When will i be done? oh... uh, about... 6 years? ya... just in time for my 30th birthday... & just AFTER our 10 year reunion... ya... i'll give you an update next time... maybe i'll invite you to my graduation... ya.... well, cheers... have fun.... thanks for ignoring me in High School.... ::big cheesey smile::
when to LEAVE!?!?!
-This is always hard... you don't want to get there TOO early, but if you wait too long, you're never getting up to that bar, even if you do make a regular appearance at the bar & happen to text message with BOTH cute bartenders on a daily basis... These things actually make you LESS likely to get a drink, i've found, bc they know you won't get mad at them. They know you'll understand... ugh.
-Leaving is the biggest problem. inevitbally, you'll be at one bar & the hot guy from Sophomore math will be at the other one. You'll ask someone "who did you see at the other bar" & they'll say his name. So you finish your drink & gather your peeps & rush to the other bar... just to find out "oh, he just went to the OTHER bar" (fuck, good luck, bc you're never gunna get your crowd to venture back up the steep main street hill, probably in the rain, to go back to the same mob so you can see some guy you drooled over when you were supposed to be learning quadratic equations, or... something...)
-i guess as long as i can make it home walking, or get out of there before i make too much of a fool out of myself...
So, to all of you making this adventure out tonight, good luck. i truely hope that we can all have a blasty & remember the good times, laugh off the bad times & look fuckign hot as hell to make our ex-ducks (or ex-chicks) sweat a little.... BUT DO NOT trust the ex if he says he's single... chances are he is NOT... if he doesn't live in town, he probably thinks he can score some yum while "shes" in her hometown... fuck'n asshole...
Have fun, drink your faces off, have a BoMo (AmeCakes word: Black Out Make Out), brag... but, stay classy "san fransisco".
oh ya... &... try not to vom!
also - i read this HILARIOUS article from The Onion about this very night! i LUVS it... read it. it's a great laugh for anyone!
ps: i'd like to send out some *good vibes* to my hunnie-luv NaNa. Her mother isn't feeling well & is having some tests done. Everyone please think positive thoughts for her & her family. we luvs u mama.
well, i'm back. i'm glad to be home, but i sure as hell miss the simplicity of being somewhere other than home.
it was really nice to have someone else's shit to keep track of. it forced me to forget my own.
now i'm back & so is it.
School is going terribly. I'm completely failing my sketching course. I haven't even done any work on it in weeks. I'm trying to drop out of it, but no one at the damn school will get back to me.
My other one is ok, but it's just, not something that I'm excited about. at all. which is weird, bc who isn't excited to learn about Fashion? (i guess... me?)
(i feel so trapped.)
The only things that excite me are writing on my blog... looking at photographs... & day dreaming about a better life. (woah... that was depressing).
I need to get out of here. I need to meet new people. I met wonderful people in Georgia. All of the other bridesmaids are some of my favourite people in the world now. but, of course, they live on the bottom of the damn country... so i'll never get to see them.
I feel like everything is a test, everything is complicated, everything is unnecessary... nothing is... real... or maybe it's too real.
this can't be life. it just can't be.
I don't know what to do. I need some damn direction. I need some damn inspiration. I need some damn exiliration.
Advice? Help? Motivation? Anything?
not so much in the "luvs it" mood... (& i'm usually so chipper)
while making the photos for this post, my mother informed me that we they (THEY) are moving in January... i guess that means that this little birdie is getting a violent shove out the nest.... who the fuck knows where i'll end up. shit.
this post just progressed down a dark, dark path.
i'm sorry luvs. i'm just in a shit-tastic place today...
After my post "Guy Time Zones" and my gush over the h.ween duck (who never called - boo), i felt the need to dive in DEEPER! So... look what i got for all of you! a real live DUCK to tell us how it is!
Ryan, hilarious author of the witty, informative, intelligent blog ETC. ETC. ETC. went to High School with me in our little silly town in CT. (he was a year ahead of me though & we didn't talk until way after we'd both graduated). Had i known he was such a riot, i would have spoken up sooner!
To all my luvs: READ his blog. it's fantasmic, you'll luvs it. It's become a must read for me & i know it will for you too.
So, without further drooling from this chick, i present to you, the ducks take, on guy time!
To all those who "luvs it", I'm here to share some wisdom. Spanky asked me if I could do a little guest spot on her blog and I thought it was a great idea. For those who don't know, I'm Ryan and write the eclectic and addictive blog ETC. ETC. ETC. (I had to throw in a shameless plug, check it out....rcazalet.blogspot.com). As a fellow blogger, I like to check out other blogs that are doing big things, and Spanky Luvs It happens to be one of those. Yet I couldn't help but notice that one large demographic has been left out of the mix and that is the often unheard male voice. So I campaigned across the information highway to be the spokesperson of a forgotten breed. I hit the campaign trail hard and the voters across the country said on one voice "YES WE CAN". I had originally planned on writing about the 10 things guys LUV right now, but instead came across an interesting little diddy from spanky's latest blog post... Guy Time. In order to understand guy time, we must first understand "guy mind".
Here's a little mantra that I always use when trying to pick up a girl, "What would Clooney do?" It's simple and effective. Guys are always tying to look cool. Not cool like the popular kid in middle school, but cool like Clooney, or perhaps the right word is confident. In most Clooney movies (and based on what I've read, in real life too) George pulls off the perfect balance between uninterested and flirtatious. And if you notice, the guys that are always getting girls walk that line to perfection.
What's interesting though is that the same basic principles apply for both guys and girls; you don't want to seem too interested and we all want what we can't have. Or at least what we think we can't have. For instance, if your looking for a job and someone from ask.com tells you they want you to work for them starting immediately, but someone at Google tells you they like your work and should get together some time to talk about it, are you going to take the job with ask.com or wait and see with Google?
So now that we have more of an understanding of what a guy is thinking, we can now address guy time. We wait because we want to look uninterested. We wait because we want to look cool. And by trying to look cool that means, of course, we don't want to look stupid. We don't want to send a text message the next day that says something to the effect of "hey baby, lets hang out" (don't even get me started about how hard it is to send an effective text message in these situations). So we wait. We try and think of something to say. We sometimes type it into our phone, read it and delete it because it sounds stupid. So we wait. Because usually if we call or text the same day of getting your number, we just say something stupid that completely ruins any chance we had. So we wait.
We wait until the girl is so frustrated and mad that she is ready to delete your number out of her phone. We wait until the girl is on the brink of calling you up just say your an asshole...and then we make contact. Sometimes its too late, but that's a risk we're willing to take. Some guys are purists and wait two days, others wait a week. It's up to you realize when it's too soon and when its too late. Do I like the system, no I don't. Did I just pose a question and then answer it, yes I did. But there are some things that a girl can do to combat this frustrating system.
As I said earlier, the same basic principles apply for guys and girls. Girls don't want to call or text a guy too soon for the same reasons guys don't...they don't want to seem like a stalker or a desperate loser. So what can you do when a guy you want to call isnt? Be proactive. Send him a text, but choose your words carefully. Don't ask the guy why he is ignoring you and don't ask him out. Be flirty, but don't be pushy. Esentially you should apply the Clooney Mantra, except it would be more like the "Fox Mantra"; What would Megan Fox do. And at the end of the day just remember this....the guy doesn't look like George Clooney and you don't look like Megan Fox ( and if you do, call me)
So why do we wait.....because we don't have as much game as George Clooney
a huge thanks to Ryan for giving us the "what's up".
I promised that the Give-Away wordie word contest thinger would be over & a winner picked on the 8th.
-that was smart dumb of me because i was out of town that day. BUT, i'm back now & i've picked a winner.
All of the entries were awesome.
i'd like to give a few honorable mentions (runners up):
To AmeCakes, my luv-tartlet from reality & Listening Around thank you for being the best DAB & keeping the use of Amaze-balls alive. don't ever let me forget to use it. We should probably make a word of the day calendar. project time.
To Conor my Irish boy Fancy-face from Pizza Box, Curmudgeonly is a fantasmic word. it reminds me of that Brad Garret 7-Up commercial (in the states). it's a very good one, & i'm considering getting that shirt for you for X-mas just so i can see pictures of you wearing a shirt that says that around London. we'll talk.
now... for the winner... (drum rolll........)
Miss Mercedes, my luvs guru, boytastic adviser from How to REALLY hold on to your Man, wins this contest!
MM - you win for 2 reasons. Your word was a combo word (5 points!) that you made up, & it's been added to my vocabulary. Any word that i hear & immediately NEED to find a reason to say, is perfectionalistic & it needs to be spread like wild fire.
so my dear, you have won a...
at the risk of sounding like a DG (dumb girl), i'm going to talk about something that bugs the SHIT out of me...
So, as you all luvies know, i met a total *duck* on Halloween. I tried to play it kool. y'know, met a hot guy, we MO'd like crazy, NBD... but... fuck... it was a big deal.. bc now i keep thinking about him!
We closed out the night with him asking for my digits. (score!) but, as i stated in the other post, my damn phone was dead, so i didn't get to get his. (UGH!). So, i've been in this perpetual "don't be a weirdo girl. hopefully he'll call, but if he doesn't, whatever, nbd."
-easier said than done.
i can't help but think that i like this guy. Yes, i'm aware, it was a drunken make out in a bar.. on halloween... i'm not even sure that he'd look at me twice w/o my insanely slutty costume on.
So, now that i've ranted, my issue is...
Why the hell do guys feel like they have to wait so long to contact a chick?
(i really hope that any guy readers don't get offended by my questioning of a "rule" that's older than time, but it's awfully frustrating.)
-this is why we chicks think that we're cra-cra! We start thinking about it too much. It's not like we want you to call us as soon as you wake up the next morning & ask us to move in! PUH-lease! that's the LAST thing that i want, but, why do you feel you need to wait a week to send me a text message saying "what's up?"... i'm not going to think you're in luv with me if you ask me "what's up" 2 days later... y'know?
Girlies: What do YOU think about this? What's your take? Advice? Stories? Personal Experience? Agrivations?
Doodes: A little help here. Educate me, i'm sure that all the chickies that read this would luv some insight.
What do guys think the reason is to not make contact within a few days of a hook up, date, meeting?
Do guys think that chicks are nutso if they contact them first? What's over bearing, what's "hot" initiative?
How do us girls let a guy know we've been thinking about them, without falling into that ridiculous "stalker" category?
How the F are we supposed to let a guy know we would like to see them again without feeling like he'll think we're pushy?
Should i totally NOT be putting these thoughts out there in the world, in case he happens to read this post?!?!
(ps- H.ween "Street Fighter" Duckie, if you're reading this... you're hot, i had a blasty with you, call me, let's get a corn dog & play duck hunt or something. ya diggg?)
AN INTJ wrote about this subject on Personal Development. It basically restates the thoughts we've all had & the actions we've all performed with this issue... but it didn't really help me much. (sorry)... AN's advice... "don't think about it"... but... as we discussed... -easier said than done, AN!
have you found a blog post about this? Do you hve a story about this? Advice? Comment or e-mail to SpankyLuvsIt@gmail.com. I'll compile a collection of "what to do's".
I often have a million ideas flittering around in this lil blonde head about things i want to write about, links i want to post, and lists that i want to organize into a full idea.
Basically, my desk at work is covered in little notes with ideas and thoughts... (aka, big hot mess!)
So, i came up with an idea... Sort of "coming attractions"...
This will help me stay organized and will also give you a way of contributing to my thoughts and make my posts even better!
What i need from my luvrs*
Keep an eye out on the Q & if there is anything there that makes your gears turn, e-mail me! Let me know your thoughts before they're even written! (it's like your psychic!)
If you see a post on the Q about a list (like i did the best Duets) you can e-mail it to me with your ideas. I'll give you a shout out on the post.
(Please make sure to include your blog link and your following name in your e-mail so i know who you are!)
i hope that this will help me keep up with a well organized, cohesive blog about everything and nothing, (oxy...moron?)
As a Virgo-Leo cusp baby, my internal battle between chaos & organization has been a massive speed bump my whole life, so, we'll see if this works!
If you have any ideas about things that i should write about, things that you see that make you think of *ME*, questions (& of course, all submissions for Convo Starters & Give Aways) - E-MAIL ME!
You'll see my e-mail address in the top corner of the blog:
i hope that everyone had a treat-tastic halloweeeeen!
my night started off a bit rocky, but after 2 hours of painting my face, teasing my hair & frosting myself in bling, i was transformed.
Spanky became Daisy
unfortunately, no one knew who the hell i was...
what do people WATCH if they don't watch VH1 reality tv!?! Who DOESN'T watch Daisy of Love?! ...as i type i'm watching the wonderful television program, Tool Academy 2!
i think i looked awesome, just say'n...
me as Daisy last weekend at Mattman's birthday party... he was Frankenberry!
So, i threw on my Uggs & climbed in my cute new car & drove my ass 50 mins to JenBunny's new appartment. After a few final touch ups, we were off to White Plains, NY to park in a garage, walk to the main road & take our place in the very loooong line of half sober, half wasted clowns, french maids, mario brothers, Giants players & slutty lady bugs...
JenBunny was a hot mama in her "Free Rides" Taxi driver costume, Cheryl rocked it out as a super hot Baseball Player & Michelle went as a sexy kitty with stick on whiskers that kept falling off when she smiled. (I LOLed at her when she, out of no where, exclaimed that she "hates dumb cats"! haha)
JenBunny as Taxi Driver
Cheryl as Baseball Player
OK, this wasn't the costume that Michelle wore, she had black leggings & a black tube top, but this is just so hot! i want it!
Mario, Luigi, slutty Girl Scouts and a random dude in a black & white camo shirt were behind us. The Girl Scouts were passing out Philanthropy by grinding up against Gorrila's, basketball players and singing "Go Banana, Go Go Banana" (with a clear slip into Holla Back Girl a few times... "b-a-n-a-n-a-s!") to a Giant Banana guy, who, needless to say, luvd the attention.
i couldn't find a "Go Banana" clip... but i did find this funny banana video!
The line started to get old REAL fast, especially when, after an hour & a half, it started drizzling... (fml)...
we watched the Costume Contest throught the window while we waited. We saw the Mystery Inc. gang, complete with Scooby (came in 5th place) - (which made me jeal bc i've ALWAYS wanted to do that), the Jolly Green Giant (came in 3rd), a guy in a Hooters outfit, Plaxico Burress with a GSW to the leg (hahah, didn't place, but i got a good LOL out of it), and a few Lady Gaga's, one of which was male. -i didn't get to enter... :o(
So, we FINALLY got into the bar & i quickly downed 2 back to back shots of tequlia, straight up, no training wheels for THIS lush, and then got my groove on, brewski in hand.
it was fun for a while, once the 3rd shot of tequlia hit my system, but i was not finding any boys to mac on... :o(
my hopeful goals for the night (find a Brett Michaels for my Daisy, or an Edward Cullen to make out with) weren't going very well.
There was a bunch of guys next to us dressed as Street Fighters, characters from a video game that i had no clue about. They enjoyed explaining that it's an awesome game somewhat like Mortal Kombat. They were kool, but i was still without a h.ween squeeze.
"...another Coors Light please"
a few more jams, a few photo opps (on cameras that were not mine, so i don't have them to load yet), an Edward Scissorhands, Chris Angel and a Preist later, i turned around to see a TOTAL QT!
could this be my halloween Duck? hmm...
He was another Street Fighter, but to my happy surprise, looked more like Flex than Bret Michaels. (score!)
He was supposed to be Guile, from Street Fighter, which... means... nothing to me... but he was hot. haha
So, we chatted for a bit, he didn't guess who i was supposed to be (pout) but i forgave him. After a while of chill'n (i think dancing?) drinking and having a competition to see who could get the bartenders attention first (i won. duh.) he was gracious enough to accompany me out to the back porch for a ciggarette & some quieter surroundings.
& after a little while... Daisy & her Street Fighting Flex did a little of this...
we hung out the rest of the night; MO'n, LOL'n & Luv'n H.ween.
then, my GD iPhone died before i could snag the digits (doh!) but i gave him mine... so, we'll see what happens... hopefully there will be something there!