apple for the teacher

Y'think if i fed-ex a nice shiny red apple to my teachers (from CT to CA) it'd send the wrong message? I'm guessing that it might, especially since by the time that it gets there, it might have rotted... then they'll be like

"great way to start the semester, some freak overnighted me a rotten apple... F"

maybe i'll just stick with being punctual and participating. My past college experience was way different. I was always kinda hated by class mates because i'd raise my hand, talk in every discussion and sit in the front row. (in college i was very concerned about doing well, bc in high school i was usually in the back of the classroom sleeping or fucking around).

Well, today i signed into my online classes at AAU (Academy of Art University) for the first time! Eek! I'm nervous, but excited.

After my literal breakdown on tuesday (bye bye adorable Cabrio, i've luvd you so much!) i had somewhat of a MENTAL breakdown yesterday. It all was just a little too much to handle & i lost sight of the chipper goofy Spanky you all know & luv.

It made me think though. I started wondering if this "Spanky" character is the silver lining of myself that i wish i could be all the time. I was taking a stroll down memory lane through my past posts and realized that 9/10 times, i seem like my life is a daily blasty!

Well, my dears, that's simply not true. I'm beginning to think that without meaning to, i used this blog as a therapeutic measure to bring my happy fun side out to take over when the fishies in my head are fighting the whirl pool.

IMPORTANT:

in NO way does this mean that i'm a fake. Sara is Beyonce Knowles, Spanky is Sasha Fierce (y'knah-imean?) I'm optimistic that Spanky, may very well be keeping Sara alive. This blog may very well be my real life rabbit Hole and all of you are watching my journey through an all too familiar Wonderland (only it's not a Wonderland... it's like the opposite... i don't wonder.. i expect... Spanky goes to Wonderland.. Sara lives in Expectland... wow... that's some lame, sad shit!)
anyway luvrs,

i think that my half a glass of wine may be getting to me... or maybe i'm sleep deprived... or maybe i'm fuck'n nutso.

regardless, i'm out. i will be back soon. i promise.

oh ya... i also died my hair. did i mention that? it's not blonde anymore. it's dark. i asked for strawberry blonde, i got kinda dark reddish brown (gee.. thanks...) it's growing on me, but i'm still pissed that i got something i totally did NOT ask for... ugh.
luvs it*