road map.

i'm here. i've been home, i've been lost (like usual), but i have high hopes that, with the recent free time, i may actually be able to plan a route to a better *me*.

Since i've been back, i've had to deal with a LOT of life's red tape. I've since, filed for unemployment, but won't know what the outcome is until i have my hearing (da da daaaa) on may 10th.
not gunna lie, i'm a littler terrified, bc i have no idea what to do if i don't get approved & i have no idea if i will get approved or not, since i was fired for breaking "company policy"

Has anyone reading this ever had to deal with filing for unemployment? advice?

i feel just awful that i haven't written in so long. i feel like this blog has become a best friend of sorts, & with that, my whopping 107 reader (!!!) are as well. I guess that makes me a pretty selfish & shitty friend, huh... :(

I'm also so sorry that i haven't been making the rounds to see how you have all been. i haven't read a single blog in SO long. God damn LIFE just keeps getting in the way of my means of escape!

i've been trying to get myself back on track, plotting the "rest spots", the important necessities & the tourist attractions.
[ya, i know, ever since the road trip, i'm on a bit of a "on the road" metaphor kick. haha. should just be a passing phase...]

it also doesn't help that my DAMN COMPUTER has been driving me up a WALL!
(does anyone else have a Dell Mini?) i luv the idea of it, but, one of the things i read about when i bought it was that the mouse pad thinger is awful & god damn that is SO true. i HATE it!!! But, like any laptop, it's not usually easy to have a mouse hooked up to it, bc then you need a mouse pad & a flat surface & blah blah blah, it's annoying.
but, because it's so stupid, it is unreal how difficult it is to highlight words in my text. i try to highlight one word & the damn thing jumps all around & selects other words or moves the highlighted text to another spot or some crap & UGH it makes me want to SCREAM!!!
that's why this post is written in such a boring way, rather than my usual overly annimated BIG words, different fonts, colours, yadda, yadda, yadda.

So, my hurdles, or "speed bumps" so far have been:

-filing unemployment.
-running out of money.
-medical insurance expiring at the end of the month.
   -get glasses [check!]
   -go to gyno for bc
   -go to dentist for filling & to have my gums looked at, AGAIN!
   -how will i afford my 'script without medical insurance?!
   -acupuncture?
-having to move out of my parents house (blessing, but still stressful & annoying).
   -MOVING TO CALIFORNIA!!!
   -driving across the country again in a few months so i'll have my car in Cali?! eek.
-deciding if i'll have to find another job for the time being to make money to be ABLE to move.
-saying goodbye to my friends & family. :(
-organizing all my shit.
   -how the hell do i get 23 years worth of life from CT to CA!?
-figuring out how to use this free time to my advantage, & how to better myself with it.
    -aka how do i do these things when i don't have the money to spend on them?
-trying to get fit.
   -FINALLY made my weight goal. i've OFFICIALLY lost 50 pounds since February of 2009!
   -Yes, i'm very proud & very happy, but being a smaller jean size does NOT mean that your in shape. this butt is NOT cute & it needs to be.

&, most of all...

-missing the HELL out of Trav "Bazinga". It's only been a little over a week & i can't stand not seeing him every day. Especially after spending 11 days solid with him. Sure, we can get on eachothers nerves, but, HELLO, try spending 24 hours a day with ONE person for 11 days & NOT getting a little annoyed at them. We didn't fight ONCE though!

gag worthy moment of couple cuteness:
Bazinga & I have talked about what we think our "song" should be. not in like a super ridiculously serious way, but just because. it stemmed from me wanting to get a new ringtone for when he called...

i picked:

he picked:

i feel like the one that i picked is so typical, but considering we've been friends for 10 years & best friends for a long time before we started dating, & since we're currently living 3,000 miles away from eachother, i thought that it was appropriate, but, honestly, when he sent me his choice, it took my breath away. It was just so sweet that he'd think of that song. What do you think?

i miss you all so very very much.
i hope that you haven't all forgotten about me.

spread the word that Spanky is BACK & i will be updating, bit by bit, about my trip. i figure that it'll be easier for me to post, & easier for you all to follow, if i do it in chunks. maybe 1 post per day of travel?

i've been so down, but so hopeful. i really hope that you are all still there. please, let me know that you're still out there, reading my words.
send me a comment, or an email [spankyluvsit@gmail.com] - anything. just lemme know that you're out there!

also, about the 100 followers giveaway, i'm SO sorry that i never posted about that. As many of you know, it fell right into a super crazy time & i just never got a chance to post it! I will, i have all of the prizes. i'll post about it soon. i hope that i can get enough of my readers back into the circuit for it to even have any entrants!!!

a million hugs & kisses

luvs it*

ps: does anyone know why i am unable to post pics from a file on my computer?
i'm only able to do it from obnoxious ways, but i can't get them off my computer!!?
When i try to, & i click the "insert image" icon, it only gives me the options to add an image:
-"from this blog"
-"from Picasa Web Albums"
-"from URL"

any ideas?!