rock bottom.

can this just be rock bottom?

can we all just let this be the low point?

i'm so embarrassed...

my car was repossessed...

we got so behind a few months ago when bazinga got sick, then roomie was robbed & i had to cover his 'scripts & part of her rent & my bills got put to the back burner.
i couldn't make payments on time & they took my car.

i can't believe it.

sometimes i feel like i can barely breath.

i luv it here & i luv the possibilities that this home has, but what else can possibly happen?

i'm going home for 2 weeks. i leave Jan 3rd. I just hope, hope, hope that i can come back with a rejuvenated spirit & can pick myself up, brush myself off, & make this life work.

i don't need bright, shiny things, i just want a bright, shiny happiness to fill our little home.

just, please, let's just let this be rock bottom. my hope can't take much more.

silver lining: i can't wait to see my family, my friends &, maybe even most of all, that dog, little Holly GoLightly pup whom i've missed so much i can't take it.


luvs it*

tire in the woods

my tire flew off my car today... while driving... on the busiest road in town.

i watched it role of the grass, through the middle of the two legs of a street sign (which, i was kinda impressed by) & off into the tall grass & the woods.

now the rim is bent & probably ruined. the alignment is probably off.

it was supposed to go in to the auto shop tomorrow for an e-Vap replacement that probably would have cost me a small fortune. then it needed emissions testing, an oil change, new registration, body work, brakes fixed, & oh ya... the passenger window doens't go down... FML

i luvs my little car, but it just doesn't seem worth it to put that much time & money into a dying 1996 VW Cabrio... but it's a convertible! & it's the car i learned to drive in. it was my aunts. i luv luv luv luv luv that car.

i'm going to cry.

now i'm looking into other cars. trying to be proactive. i think i want a hybrid. maybe a hybrid SUV? i have no idea.

what i want is a magic wand so i can wave it & fix my baby.

She (even tho, it's really a he) has two names... Wally the Green Monstah (bc she's tough as shit - usually) & Luigi... i dunno... green german car, green italian plumber... not really close, i just luv the name.

damnit.

i'm really sad.

no luvs tonight friends...